Now
that I am married, I have learned that the best way to love others especially
my husband is not to change him but to accept him and help him become the best
version of himself.
When
I first met my husband online, I felt a profound sense of sympathy and
understanding for him. The moment we first chatted online, I felt a great sense
of appreciation and acceptance of who he is. I accepted him even though he said
he is just poor and a disabled army veteran. I accepted him even if he is not
so good in spelling because he has dyslexia. And I felt peace within me. I
trusted him and I felt an immense willingness to be with him in spite of his
shortcomings. By the way, he proposed marriage during our first chat online. I
can’t believe he will do it because we haven’t met each other in person yet and
we are still in the getting-to-know each other stage. But he trusted me too.
I guess it was JESUS’ plan because I felt comfortable and happy chatting with
him. He is a very respectful man.
Every
day our relationship grows stronger. I don't know what pushes me to keep on
appreciating him and encouraging him but this I know and believe that I can
bring him back to the Lord since he told me that he has not been going to
church for 20 years because he has an abusive wife. I believe firmly that I can
lead him back JESUS because every time I talk about JESUS he showed interest. By
the way, I met him online after seven months of being a born-again Christian.
So,
in a Christian point of view, the best way to love others is not to change them
but to accept them and help them become the best version of themselves by
leading them to CHRIST and through the help of the Holy Spirit. In my marriage,
I always ask the Holy Spirit to guide us and keep our marriage healthy and
strong. I pray that the Holy Spirit will prepare my husband’s heart for the
second coming of CHRIST. That he will be receptive to my teachings from the
Bible. In addition, I prayed that He will believe in JESUS as His Lord and
Savior and also believe in every verse from the Bible that I share with him. And,
that he will attend church service again with me.
Not
just that, as a wife, I also play my role well. I always make sure that I am
constantly kind to my husband. I don’t speak bad words to him. I serve him. I
do the things that make him happy and support him in his hobbies like playing
online games. I understand that he is the breadwinner of the family so it is
okay for him to play online games anyway, he is not irresponsible. He helps me
wash the dishes, cook, do laundry, clean the house and provide for my needs. He
even provides financial help for my family in the Philippines . He is a generous, kind, thoughtful, diligent and
loving man.
My
husband has a major depressive disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has
a bad back and psoriatic arthritis so most of the time he is in pain.
Therefore, I always comfort him and encourage him. I also make sure everything is
easy for him. I always take care of his little requests like giving him a glass
of water, preparing him some snacks, and filling his medicine holder. I help
him with everything that he does. Moreover, I believe that appreciation is the
oil that keeps a relationship going. So I always appreciate him and compliment
him with his victories every time he wins in his online game. I always tell him
that he is handsome and remind him that he is a good and loving husband.
However,
in my point of view, we cannot love others and help them be their best self if
we have troubles within our own self like insecurities and brokenness. We need
first to believe and accept JESUS in our hearts as our Lord and Savior and have
a loving and faithful relationship with Him above all. Once JESUS is in our
hearts, He will restore us, heal our brokenness, and take away our sins, guilt,
worries, and securities. Only then we can become good lovers. We can lead
others to CHRIST also once we already have a loving relationship with JESUS. And
when these others become followers of CHRIST, their hearts will become a
fountain of love thereby influencing, loving and helping others become the best
version of themselves as well. Love is like a dose of good medicine. It is
contagious. It does wonders for both the giver and the receiver.
At
present, my husband attends church service every Sunday with me. And, just last
month, he thanked me for bringing him back to his old loving self and leading
him back to the LORD. I was so happy when I heard it. JESUS really never fails
to amaze me when He answers my prayers. Praise, glory, and honor are unto Him.
In
general, we can help others become the greatest version of themselves by
leading them to JESUS. And let JESUS transform their hearts, renew their minds
and heal their pains. On the other hand, as humans we can help them by being
kind to them, encouraging them appreciating, complimenting them and sharing
God’s Word to them. Make loving others contagious. Help them become the
greatest version of themselves. Spread the love. God bless. I love you with the
love of the LORD.
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